The Difference a Dad Makes!                                           Home Page                        

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The difference a dad makes is perhaps immeasurable.  

Families come in all shapes and sizes. My parents divorced when I was in early primary 

school, making ours a home of a single mom and five siblings. Today I am married with 

two children. This offers me another perspective of family: a dad fully engaged as a 

parent. 

As to which is a better type of “family”, that can be determined by others for themselves. 

Opinions are not as valuable as what can be learned so that better investments are made 

in healthy family relationships. 

My perspective as a wife and mother are different now about my dad than in my earlier 

years. I found that when you seek, you find. For years I could find things to complain 

about my dad, but complaining didn’t change anything. After making the decision to 

forgive and seek healing, my perspective changed. Then I looked back at my relationship 

with my “absentee” dad with a new goal to find good things about him to share with my 

children. 

Though he was not in our home, much was learned from my father’s example. He taught 

us that creativity has no bounds, and to explode beyond the boundaries of any “box” that 

life tried to place you in. From Dad I learned that words are powerful, and each should be 

spoken with the knowledge that not one can be taken back. I also learned that one day a 

dad is gone, and it can be too late to mend relationships and start anew. 

My experience as a wife is different. My husband of 16 years is a committed father who 

invests chunks of time in our family. As our children mature and prepare to become 

independent, his discipline is needed. He takes our teenage daughter on dates to set an 

example of respect and communication. He teaches our son through sports to play his 

best but to have fun and to be a leader. As a wife I am treated with honor and 

commitment. His work ethic is unquestioned, but it comes without sacrificing time with 

the family. 

It is not true that history always repeats itself. My past is not my present, but both are 

equally important in what I pass down to my children. My job is to teach my kids that life 

offers many continuing lessons and they must learn to pick and choose what they pass 

down and what they let go. 

Dads do make a difference. If my dad were still around, I would love him and honor him, 

and dwell on the good times. For my husband and the father of my children, we will 

thank him and love him like we should, like he deserves. 

Perhaps this Father’s Day, the biggest difference can be made by us in the life of our 

“fathers”. Take this time to focus on the good, to say the things that should be said, and 

do the things that should be done. Make it a day to remember the good things that on a 

normal day might get overlooked. Invest in the dads that make a difference in your life. 

Happy Fathers Day to all Dads!! 

Candied hearts, dinner dates, and diamonds; such St. Valentine’s Day treats sets the

standard for perfect dates and romanticism for romantics. It is common every February.  

But, love is a verb. It is something we feel, but equally important is the love that we do.  

How do we do love? Simple things like laundry, carpooling, and vacuuming a floor come

 to mind, rarely do we love those things, but we do them for those we love. It could be

watching Barney with young children, playing flashlight tag with a yard full of pre-teen

boys, or giving up a good night’s sleep to let a bunch of teenaged girls sleep over at your

house It could mean allowing your husband a golf game without making him feel guilty,

or a husband facilitating for his wife a girl’s night out with no children or dishes. It

means doing something for someone else expecting nothing in return.   

Love requires sacrifice. It means giving up what you want to express your love to

another. Saying we love someone is not enough, those words will be tested in almost

every relationship. Love is often expressed in giving yourself for someone else. 

Love allows change. As the parent of a teen I’ve come to realize their world is changing

rapidly and my only hope is to change with them. If they text, you text, if they

Facebook, you Facebook. Parents must take time to understand their kid’s world in

order to be a part of it. Love can be expressed by changing with others and allowing

independence.  

Love accepts others: Key to love is allowing others to be themselves, especially in

marriage. Often we focus on those things we may like to change, but we cannot change

anyone but ourselves. Once we make the decision to accept others for who they are,

we begin to have a stronger sense of who we are. Love can be expressed by allowing others

to be who they are with confidence.  

Love establishes trust: At the core of all relationships trust is critical. Often we over-

commit in an effort to please others, but we fail in trying to live up to anyone’s

expectations. Love can be expressed by making fewer commitments, but keeping the

ones you’ve made and establishing trust over time.

Love forgives:  No family or relationship gets it all right. We are all imperfect and make

mistakes. Thus, every relationship requires forgiveness and the chance to heal its

hurts. Love cannot survive amidst bitterness and anger, so take time to discuss how

hurt relationships can be mended and do what it takes to forgive and love again.  

Just what does love have to do with Valentine’s Day? Everything!  

The perfect date is a good thing. A box of chocolates never hurt anyone. Diamonds?

Well who ever complained about that? But this year, add to that list how you love

others. Let love be an action and an attitude that say’s I love you all year long.